接到電話，得知妙儒法師月底去美國養病，準備做膝蓋骨移植手術。妙儒法師告訴我，靈山塔那邊，已經有師父接手，她暫時休息了。

驟然一陣傷感，最近搬家了，離南天寺三小時車程，去的次數更少了，如今妙儒法師要去美國，我和南天寺的距離，似乎又更遠了一些。

法師在各道場別分院調動是正常的事情，一個地方住久了難免會起罣礙，這些我都知道，但心裡還是會捨不得。 希望法師一切都好，身體安康。

上週末是第三次主持浴佛節慶祝典禮，明顯的感覺到自己心態上的改變。接下來的日子，我想，應該會把時間分配多一些在自修上面吧。對於在佛光山做義工這方面，我想我是遇到瓶頸了。

It was a sunny day and I decided to park my PuPu outside instead of in the underground parking area. My co-worker asked me why.

me: I felt like she needs some sun.

him: You know that she is not a plant

me: hmm..good point

him: And at the end of the day she won’t grow any taller

me: How sad…Hopefully the Sun will cheer her up

him: ……

(two days later)

him: You still park her outside?

me: Yeah I think she is happier there

him: The colour may fade though

me: It’s white, maybe it will fade to light-white instead of deep-white?

him: ……

(some days later)

him: White surface may turn yellow under direct sun light

me: OK I will turn my car around after lunch so she gets even exposure

him: Are you telling me that you are sun-tanning your car?

me: There is no skin cancer for cars isn’t it?

him: ……

Passion is not something to be banked on. I am saying this because recently I've met so many people who are unhappy with their career. Please note I said "career" instead of "job".

As a very unstable employee I've worked for 9 companies in the past 10 years but my job title hasn't changed. For the next ten years or so I can still see myself working in a similar environment, dealing with similar problems. For those of you who may still remember, I had a rough relationship with my previous company. As a result I resigned after only working there for months, and went on a very long holiday around the country, happily burned all my hard earned money to glorify the closure. That was my special way to say good-bye.

Now that I am still working in the same field, happier than ever with my new job. I feel very sorry for those people who told me they are unhappy with their career. Changing a job is easy, but changing a career could be complicated, especially if you have already been working for years and all your experience is based on what you have done in that particular area, which sadly, is now making you unhappy.

There are painters who told me they draw without soul, dancers who told me they hop like monkeys in the circus, writers who told me they sell their articles by the amount, like potato or apples on the market. Lastly I met this very experienced photographer who said that every time he touches his camera he feels as if he is committing a sin.

“Why is that?” finally I asked the question.

“I lost my feelings for the most valuable thing in my life. My passion was for photography but now I am clicking the camera purely for the pay cheque.”

Most of the unhappy souls chose their career based on what they were interested in. However I think it is very important to protect your interest. In other words, don’t transform your passion into a tool that makes money for you. Because once your whole life depends on what you can produce at the end of the day, may it be a piece of drawing, a page of article, the value of that work has now been associated with a fixed price, and I believe that passion is priceless.

May all the sorrow faces redefine their passion and regain happiness.

近來總是莫名的惶惶，覺得地球瀕臨瓦解，人類所剩時間不多了。

於是很積極努力地安排時間禪修，淨化身心，在面對判決的那一刻，至少會比較坦然。

思想的改變，使得生活態度也起了變化，覺得世界上真正重要的就是身體健康，其他那些名利財富，都是可以做取捨的。

這是杞人憂天，還是未雨綢繆？

在西澳旅行的時候，有一段是參加背包團，導遊是個身形魁梧，性格粗曠的人，常常爬到山頂上雙腳朝天玩倒立，還做出猴子的動作瘙癢。 他叫飛利浦，既然這麼喜歡扮猴子，我後來都叫他狒狒。

全團一共六個人， 分別來自蘇格蘭，瑞士，法國，英國，荷蘭，還有一個身份很複雜的小曼。 狒狒開長途車的時候脾氣都不太好，大家都派我出去和他講話，比如想要音樂開小聲一點，冷氣開大一點之類的要求。

【為什麼是我？】 後來被煩到不行開始哀叫。

【我們不是英文太破，怕他聽不懂生悶氣，就是英文講太好髒話罵太溜，怕他聽了更生氣。】那個荷蘭美眉說，【你最溫柔了還是你去吧。】

【我會溫柔才怪！】 為達目的竟然如此違背良心說這種話，果然心機重是不分國籍的。

不過狒狒對我還真的是不錯， 爬山的時候見我相機太龐大，還會主動來幫我拿腳架。 東西被人拿著，自己走太遠就顯得不禮貌了，於是我和他開始有一搭沒一搭地閒聊著，說說笑笑也很愉快。 

吃飯的時候我總是主動要求切水果切蔬菜。 其實沒什麼，我只是覺得樹枝太重我拿不動，要我生火估計會成為碳烤黑曼，而且身為素食者，要我去煎魚烤肉叉香腸實在是件很為難的事情。 於是當大家都忙著打理其他廚事的時候，我就一個人彎著腰在石頭上切得不亦樂呼。

【天啊！！】 狒狒忽然走來大叫，【你把我們三天的蔬菜都切成絲了唉！】

啊，不小心太投入了，我抓抓頭，【那我們多做一份沙拉吧。】

別看狒狒身強力壯，忽然看我拿把刀他竟然臉色變慘白，【你你你，你把刀放下。】

【你怎麼了？】 我看看他覺得不對勁。

【哦，天啊。】他捂起眼睛，【你讓我想到我的前女友。太恐怖了。】

其他人聽到立刻怪叫，【我說吧我說吧，果然你最得寵了。】

我抓起切剩的菜根果皮就朝他們丟過去， 一群人邊閃邊笑，狒狒的臉色終於好點了。 

吃飯的時候大家開始聊天，也終於知道了狒狒不堪回首的情史。

狒狒的女朋友是個廚師，平日閒來沒事就喜歡切菜，看到什麼切什麼，切片切絲切丁最後切碎末。去年他們兩人一起去斐濟島旅行，晚上喝多了，狒狒醉薰薰的好不容易爬回了飯店的床上倒頭大睡，半夜忽然感覺身上黏黏的，睜開眼睛一看，女朋友在月光下拿著一把水果刀，上面還滴著血。

【啊！！！】 狒狒忽然間所有的酒都醒了。 在女朋友還沒反應過來的時候，他抓起床單就一路裸奔到臨近的酒吧，指手劃腳終於找到兩個會講英文的遊客，然後請他們拿相機拍了照片。

【為什麼拍照片？】我們聽不明白。 

【我女朋友用刀在我背上刻了東西，我腦袋後面又沒長眼睛！】 狒狒說到這裡還心有餘悸，狠狠喝了口啤酒。

大家都很好奇，【她刻了什麼？】

【她的名字。】 狒狒嘆口氣，【真沒創意，害我流那麼多血，也不刻個激情點的。】

原來他們在斐濟島太快樂了， 女朋友不想讓他忘記自己和這段幸福的時光，於是趁著酒興，在他身上刻下了自己的名字。 

我們都聽得張大了嘴巴。

【後來我去刺青，好不容易才把那道疤給遮住了。】

【那你們之後怎麼了？】 我笨笨，竟然問了個蠢問題。

【當然分手了啊！】 狒狒怪叫，【去個斐濟島就割肉剝皮，還不知道哪天喀嚓一下把我給閹了。】

【可是她很愛你呀。】

【太恐怖了啦。】狒狒猛搖頭，【還有，你， 你， 你以後切水果不要給我看到。】

每個人都有慘痛的愛情回憶，而狒狒的，真的夠慘，也真的夠痛啊。